Friday, 2 March 2012

i don't have a life

sad but true..
yup, i don't have a life, a social life..
my life revolves around my husband and my baby boy (ever since i quit my work)..
u can call me pathetic, i think i am too..
i envy people who hang out with their friends or someone else other than their spouses or children..
i miss all that..
i miss socializing with friends, making decisions of where to go and what to do next..
and now, the only medium for me to socialize is facebook..and i hate it..but i need it..so it's kind of love-hate relationship...

and to make it even worse, i feel really bad that my husband doesn't get to hang out with his friends either because of him not wanting me to be alone at home..

much as i try, i still couldn't get a permanent job..don't know why..so the only option left for me is to stick with being a part time lecturer who only gets to teach like 4 or 6 hours a week..even though this part-time teaching job could give me almost 2k a month but still i want a permanent job so badly..

sigh...deep sigh...really really deep sigh..
maybe it's not the time yet for me to have a permanent job...Allah has a better plan for me..i believe that Allah wants me to be there 24/7 for my baby boy so that i can raise him and guide him..i shall wait and not give up...so for now, i am going to live with i have and be happy with it..i am happy but sometimes this stupid feeling came creeping in...

okay...

3 comments:

si peri peri said...

sabar kak, mesti ada hikmah disebalik semua ni. oh btw, baby firash nmpk sangat cerdik dan aktif. maybe sbb daripada jagaan yg akak berikan kt dia selama ni. serius.;p

zurinazakaria said...

heheh lisa..biasalah, kdg2 perasaan org yg tak bekerja mmg mcm ni, dtg pergi sesuka hati..but so far kakak okay dan gembira dpt jaga Firash sepenuhnya..alhamdulillah, semua itu berkat kesabaran dan didikan yg bermula dari dlm kandungan lagi..jadi Lisa pun kena start didik baby dh la...

si peri peri said...

kannn, agaknye esok bila baby ni dh keluar, lisa pun rasa mcm akak kot. nk jg baby kita sendiri. tapi masa tu lisa pulak yg sibuk keje...aduhaiii. #sekarang ni pn dh rasa mcm tak percaye je kt org yg nk asuh anak kita tu...#